En Studio

There's something comforting in taking my outfit photos in my bedroom. I've recently noticed this need to capture people in intimate settings. For me, the most pleasurable photo of an artist is in their studio. Seeing where they create, having them captured in the space where they are most comfortable is an artwork in itself. As a minor and a currently unemployed person, my room is the closest to a studio I'll get before (which I'm now realizing will happen almost exactly a year from now) I'm shipped off to college. I had been struggling to simulate the outfit-mirror-selfie with my DSLR. Mirror selfies are, almost always, are flattering and they can be done quickly and in the comfort of my room - and now that I've made it possible to do about the same with my DSLR, I think outfit posting will be less of a burden and more of a stress reliever/hobby/recreational activity especially during senior year. It sounds like adding blogging to my list of things to do while applying to my future would add stress, but having this pace that has nothing to do with academics and everything to do with dressing up might just be the most important stress reliever of the year.

I thrifted this top on a trip to Los Angeles from their giant Goodwill outlet store. It's one of those pieces that inspires the simple looks that some of the best dressed people I know have mastered. I've spent my whole life trying to find out the code to dressing well and I don't think I've found it but I do think I've learned some very important lessons on the way. And yes, I do think there is a secret formula to dressing well, it may just be different for each person, which is why it's so hard to find out; you have to know what works well on and what only you can do. Excuse the cliche, but the concept of being "unique" isn't all just middle school bullshit. That's what makes a looks, that's what makes a style muse. The everyday people I look up to for their style all dress differently, but all seem to have their own formulas for looking good everyday. I feel closer to finding out mine after years of mishaps (read: too long pants with too short shoes, wearing halloween party store brand black eyeshadow, excessively printed dresses and every unflattering cut there is).

Thrifted totp/ BDG jeans


Culture Shock

This is the first personal style post I've done in about two years and within that very long hiatus, I always had a lingering need to pull out my tripod and start capturing my "looks" again. Instagram mirror shots of the day's outfit were subtle reminders that outfit posting wasn't just a far out twelve-year-old dream but also something I still needed to do. And as I spent more and more time keeping track of outfits I liked, fashion houses and labels I admired and clothes I coveted, I wondered why fashion was such a big deal to me. Posting outfits I've styled will hopefully help me figure out all the questions I have. 

I have a special attachment to this shirt - not just because it dawns my ethic makeup - because of the hard work it took to do the seemingly simple task of ironing on rhinestone letters. I hadn't worn it since the multicultural day at school, mainly because I don't know enough about either country to have the inevitable conversation with a stranger who will ask me about "where I'm from."

Thrifted red top / H&M velvet pants / Fashion Union boots


Reflection III

I feel weird whenever I remember that I have this whole space that I used to dedicate my life to and now leave untouched and forgotten. Blogging was such a big part of my life and now I never think about it.

Something about today made me feel like I needed to post again. I think it was the fact that when I don't know who to talk to, I talk to the internet. And it's particularly weird because the thought of people reading this makes me cringe.

Most of my friends know that twenty-fourteen was my least favorite year. Twenty-fifteen was considerably better - I started Things, I started to talk to the people who would become my current friend group, and I started working at the ICA. Junior year even started off with honor roll grades for the first time since the end of twenty-fourteen. In my mind I had successfully distracted myself out of depression and ignored the episodes as just bad days, weeks, months. So its twenty-sixteen and everything is a bit less fulfilling and a lot more difficult and I see a familiar pattern from the previous two years replicating itself. It lingers like it used to and I ignore it like it used to - only this time it intensifies. The things that distracted me are increasingly less appealing and only do a trick for an hour. Highs are followed by very long and very deep lows. Soon, I'm out of class more and more, I'm isolating myself to the point where my family complains outside of my bedroom door about how I won't leave the corner of my room where my bed is or how I'm always tired and I never look happy. Soon the doctor confirms what I've known for three years, and the only change is now I can say that I wasn't lying. And four days after she tells my mom this is problem that needs to be fixed, I find myself back on my blog, my original safe-space, looking for a friend to talk to but making a list of every reason why every contact in my phone isn't the best option. So I'm talking to the internet, not because I want a stranger to read this and resonate or give me advice, but because, deep down, I'm imagining that I talking to this mythical friend who will somehow make it all better. And, in a way, this is like daydreaming and daydreaming is a much needed distraction; right now, distractions are the friends I need.


Reflections II

In an attempt to log into my Vine account for the 50th time, I remembered one of my many emails for my original blog. I looked through the posts, circa 2012, and I am still amazed how much time I had put into blogging. It made me sort of nostalgic for the times blogging was my main chick and everything else was on the side. So here I am, once again, continuing my sporadic posting schedule of every few months. I really just want to vent and reflect and plan out what I need to do as well.

I miss using my blog as a space to talk, but once I get on here I have nothing to talk about.

This year had been pretty good, by March, I already believed it was the best year of my life, and now that 2016 is only two weeks away, I stand by that. In terms of friendship and happiness, it has been a great year. And professionally it has been amazing. Things Magazine has grown unbelievably since it started in January. I am grateful for the experiences I've had this year and the people I've met and the friends I've made. This is the most confident and content I've ever been at the end of a year. Even with junior year crushing me as I type, I still feel a general happiness that was lacking in previous years.

I want 2016 to be the 2.0 of 2015. I want to see what I've created grow; I want to refocus the magazines content on Boston based artists, and expand my knowledge of the local art scene. I definitely want the magazine's blog to be integrated into the site and for everything to be easy to access and visually appealing and representative of boston artists. I want more original content - I feel like the blog posts are far removed from what I want the blog to do. I want to spend more time with friends, and go out even more (though I don't truly have the energy). I need to start SAT prep. I want to grow a new business and just always have something I enjoy doing filling up my free time

There is much much more, but this is a good place to stop for now.


Dreams in Reality

photos by daisy walker for dazed & confused

The details at Antonio Marras
photos by paolo musa for dazed & confused

photographed by virginia arcaro for dazed & confused.

Gucci featured some beautiful pieces but they excluded black models from their show which saddens me because i can't fully support the brand but i can't deny the clothes from my inspiration list.
photos from dazed & confused.

my interests in fashion week are still waning but these shows briefly captured them again. i've always liked the royal high fashion feel of shows like gucci or antonio marras but the other half of me is all for the dreamy teen queen looks of ashish and roberta einer. i'm looking for my perfect middle.